Do you understand the words datarkamingawtopmaymawt!?!

Just a question here. Why is it that I can write better in English than speaking it? Bakit nga ba? Kahit ako nagtataka, I hope I'm not the only one like this. I'm not saying that I'm really good at it, but what I'm tryin' to say is that I can write better in English kesa kung magsasalita ako ng Ingles. Well, let's try to find out why.

I remember before, when I showed the poems I wrote sa isa sa mga barkada ko, he couldn't believe that I was the one who made 'em. Pinabasa pa niya sa iba pa naming barkada, kaya ayun, dumami tuloy yung mga di naniwala. Deym! Pinaghirapan kong gawin yun, tapos di sila naniwala na ako gumawa nun. Well, I couldn't blame 'em coz we just grew up in a middle-class subdivision. Di naman kami taga Forbes o Bel-Air o ano pa mang exclusive na subdivision na para sa mga kapitalista at elitista. Kami'y isang uring manggagawa lamang o serf. They were always used to hear me using our mother tongue at gamit pa ang salitang kanto. Mga tipong "Tol, nadale ng pusa yung ulam ko, bwiset kasi nakabukas yung pinto." o kaya naman "Mrs. Gasang, pabili nga po limang pisong suka, pang adobo lang ni Mama, eto may dala akong tasa." One reason for this being so is that maybe because I love to read. Bata pa lang ako kung anu-ano nang libro at reading materials inaabot sakin ng tatay ko. Nagsimula sa Aesop's Fable hanggang sa mauwi sa Reader's Digest tapos sa National Geographic at Time Magazine. That, most of my friends didn't know. Syempre dahil sa loob lang ako ng bahay nagbabasa, alangan namang dalhin ko sa kanto yung mga babasahing yun! Kaya siguro sila di makapaniwala that I myself, yung kaibigan nilang kalaro nila halos araw-araw ng patintero at taguan, e nakakagawa ng tula, at Ingles pa. Pero napakinabangan naman nila yung mga tula ko, one of them even borrowed my notebook where my poems were written for a week. What the hell did he do it with it, that I didn't know. Next thing I know was that he had a new girlfriend a few weeks after. Well that may have solved why I can write better in English.

Pero what about speaking the language? Hmmmm...

Well, everytime I speak in English, I always stutter. Lalo na during our English or speech class way back in high school and college. Siguro pressured ako dahil once you said it yun na yun, wala ka nang time para baguhin pa. Unlike when you're writing, you have plenty of time to think before you even start to write a sentence, pwede mo pang burahin pag di mo nagustuhan or pag may mali sa grammar. E pag nagsalita ka, tapos mali yung grammar, katakot-takot na tawa at pang-aasar aabutin mo. Baka makarinig ka pa ng "Duh?! Whatever!" sa mga kaklaseng mong sosy at konyo. At pag kaharap mo naman barkada, magsalita ka lang ng Ingles, halimbawa, "What time and date tayo lalakad?" sasabihin na nila, "Hanep, Ingles yun ah!" Kaya mahihiya ka na tuloy. Well, it's just typical pinoy for you. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm not that good in speaking in English. Kulang sa practice at application. Well nakakasabay naman ako at naiintindihan naman ako ng mga pinsan kong Fil-Am whenever they're in town for a vacation. Problem is that they're just here once every two years. Kahit sa trabaho you would still talk with your co-employees in the vernacular. Hehehe, kaya kulang sa practice at sa exposure. Maybe that's why.

Pero bakit ko nga ba pinu-problema 'to? For Juan's sake eh Pinoy naman ako! We should love our native language, we should use our own, that was Quezon's legacy for us Pinoys. Di natin kailangan magsalita ng Ingles para lang sabihin na magaling tayo o edukado tayo. I know that English is the universal language, and we really need to know how to use and speak it specially with matters relating to our studies and work. I know that, I am almost there. But the problem with most of us Filipinos is that we always tend to overdo things. Look at the Japanese and the Chinese, most of their people are English illiterate, but why is it that their economies are more affluent than ours? Buo naman ating loob at may agimat pa nga daw dugo natin e! But it's not about speaking or writing in English that put their countries in their present condition. It goes way beyond that. Hope everybody would realize that.

Well, I'll just have to end this by sharing what I overheard from a very old man one day while I was walking home from school when I was still in high school:

"Punye**, Inglatera!"