Heaven and Earth

For sure nobody knows how far heaven is from earth, even scientists would have had a bloodied nose tryin' to figure that out. But I'm not here to analyze or calculate the distance between those two points, but to share with you the widening difference between the haves and have nots.

As Karl Marx had written in his Communist Manifesto, "The history of all hitherto existing society, is the history of class struggles." That's true, the history of the world was shaped and is being shaped by the clashes or conflicts which arose and is arising between the classes of society --- better known as the Bourgeoisie and the Proletariat. But enough with the history, communism, and facts. My question is, why is it that the haves and have nots couldn't mix well most of the time whether it be on interests, avocations and LOVE. Well, then, let's narrow it down to LOVE. So much with my ad libs. Why is it that there are too many conflicts and problems that arises whenever a pair coming from the two different sides break the norm? I still just couldn't get it. Isn't it true that love knows no boundaries? And just because of this barrier that our world had set up, only few had dared and fewer triumphed. How I wish that everyone in this world, whatever their status quo is, would open their eyes and just follow what is in their heart. I'll just wrap this up by sharing with you a poem that I wrote which is in relevance with what I'm saying right from the start...

COLOR BLIND

Some people's lives are meant to be less from others

Some are more fruitful, while some are mediocres

Some are meant to be in black and white...

While some are in colors with all the hues in sight.

It just happens to be that I'm on the lesser side

That's reality and I have to face it with might.

But you, you're blessed with everything to behold,

Living happily in the kaleidoscopic world.

It just hurts me cause the world had set its own realities,

Realities which gives me all the insecurities,

Insecurities because it says we can't be together,

Which just means that I'm gonna suffer forever.

But I know that love has its different view.

It has made a difference in the experiences of a few;

It has no boundaries and if we'll look through love's eyes...

It sees in color, but it doesn't mind!

I myself could only speak in failure. How I wish that LOVE would just conquer us all and break every barrier that comes along the way.

Do you understand the words datarkamingawtopmaymawt!?!

Just a question here. Why is it that I can write better in English than speaking it? Bakit nga ba? Kahit ako nagtataka, I hope I'm not the only one like this. I'm not saying that I'm really good at it, but what I'm tryin' to say is that I can write better in English kesa kung magsasalita ako ng Ingles. Well, let's try to find out why.

I remember before, when I showed the poems I wrote sa isa sa mga barkada ko, he couldn't believe that I was the one who made 'em. Pinabasa pa niya sa iba pa naming barkada, kaya ayun, dumami tuloy yung mga di naniwala. Deym! Pinaghirapan kong gawin yun, tapos di sila naniwala na ako gumawa nun. Well, I couldn't blame 'em coz we just grew up in a middle-class subdivision. Di naman kami taga Forbes o Bel-Air o ano pa mang exclusive na subdivision na para sa mga kapitalista at elitista. Kami'y isang uring manggagawa lamang o serf. They were always used to hear me using our mother tongue at gamit pa ang salitang kanto. Mga tipong "Tol, nadale ng pusa yung ulam ko, bwiset kasi nakabukas yung pinto." o kaya naman "Mrs. Gasang, pabili nga po limang pisong suka, pang adobo lang ni Mama, eto may dala akong tasa." One reason for this being so is that maybe because I love to read. Bata pa lang ako kung anu-ano nang libro at reading materials inaabot sakin ng tatay ko. Nagsimula sa Aesop's Fable hanggang sa mauwi sa Reader's Digest tapos sa National Geographic at Time Magazine. That, most of my friends didn't know. Syempre dahil sa loob lang ako ng bahay nagbabasa, alangan namang dalhin ko sa kanto yung mga babasahing yun! Kaya siguro sila di makapaniwala that I myself, yung kaibigan nilang kalaro nila halos araw-araw ng patintero at taguan, e nakakagawa ng tula, at Ingles pa. Pero napakinabangan naman nila yung mga tula ko, one of them even borrowed my notebook where my poems were written for a week. What the hell did he do it with it, that I didn't know. Next thing I know was that he had a new girlfriend a few weeks after. Well that may have solved why I can write better in English.

Pero what about speaking the language? Hmmmm...

Well, everytime I speak in English, I always stutter. Lalo na during our English or speech class way back in high school and college. Siguro pressured ako dahil once you said it yun na yun, wala ka nang time para baguhin pa. Unlike when you're writing, you have plenty of time to think before you even start to write a sentence, pwede mo pang burahin pag di mo nagustuhan or pag may mali sa grammar. E pag nagsalita ka, tapos mali yung grammar, katakot-takot na tawa at pang-aasar aabutin mo. Baka makarinig ka pa ng "Duh?! Whatever!" sa mga kaklaseng mong sosy at konyo. At pag kaharap mo naman barkada, magsalita ka lang ng Ingles, halimbawa, "What time and date tayo lalakad?" sasabihin na nila, "Hanep, Ingles yun ah!" Kaya mahihiya ka na tuloy. Well, it's just typical pinoy for you. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm not that good in speaking in English. Kulang sa practice at application. Well nakakasabay naman ako at naiintindihan naman ako ng mga pinsan kong Fil-Am whenever they're in town for a vacation. Problem is that they're just here once every two years. Kahit sa trabaho you would still talk with your co-employees in the vernacular. Hehehe, kaya kulang sa practice at sa exposure. Maybe that's why.

Pero bakit ko nga ba pinu-problema 'to? For Juan's sake eh Pinoy naman ako! We should love our native language, we should use our own, that was Quezon's legacy for us Pinoys. Di natin kailangan magsalita ng Ingles para lang sabihin na magaling tayo o edukado tayo. I know that English is the universal language, and we really need to know how to use and speak it specially with matters relating to our studies and work. I know that, I am almost there. But the problem with most of us Filipinos is that we always tend to overdo things. Look at the Japanese and the Chinese, most of their people are English illiterate, but why is it that their economies are more affluent than ours? Buo naman ating loob at may agimat pa nga daw dugo natin e! But it's not about speaking or writing in English that put their countries in their present condition. It goes way beyond that. Hope everybody would realize that.

Well, I'll just have to end this by sharing what I overheard from a very old man one day while I was walking home from school when I was still in high school:

"Punye**, Inglatera!"

Who We Really Are?

A question only you yourself can answer. Sometimes even we ourselves don't know who we really are. Knowing yourself deeply is a continuing process, I guess. A lot of us might say that of course, we know ourselves, because this is us, our own bodies, our own thoughts, our own actions and we decide the outcome. But when faced with a difficult scenario, we decide the best course of action depending on the situation. How we stand, react and conclude on certain issues changes from time to time. Our thoughts, our way of thinking, our actions, the things we take seriously, the things we laugh at...these are some of the things that constantly change throughout the course of life. And through these experiences that we encounter in our daily lives, we cultivate our own philosophy and values in life, in which we base all our thoughts and actions. This is the backbone of knowing one's self, unless you haven't created or developed your own set, you still wouldn't know who you really are.